Zen of Jake

second chances

I took all your second chances and gave them to the poor
To the undeserving so they could live again
I reached into the sky and took brightness from the stars
And put a sparkle back in your eye
I’ve noticed it rains more year by year
The sky doesn’t look so beautiful today
And neither do you baby,
Neither do you

I changed the world and made you a paradise
Why then do they call it hell?
I am that flawed a maker
I am that desperately in love
Who’s dreamed the same dream of a perfect world
And who defines the same terms of perfection?
I never judged the stars
I only stole from heaven until they were ours
I don’t think I can change
I don’t think I’d want to
Will you save us baby?
Will you pull the plug on me?

Sleep comes to the weariest of souls
The stars are still there we just can’t see behind the storm
In the final day every tear will be wiped away
So cry harder baby, while we still have tears to shed
Cry for us both, baby
it’s too late for me, I’m already dead

dream - to change the world

[Hello there? Anywhere at all? To anyone who will listen…]

If I could change the world
If I could shape the earth
I would run far from here
Put two stars in the sky
I’d never see my shadow again

[Who’s there? Anyone near? No one listens, no one cares…]

One day I will change the world
Everyone will be dizzy when the world stands still
I’d live on the sunny side with my memories
Of a long lost land called “abomination”
And his sister Eve

What would I tell my children when they asked why they can’t sleep?
What would I tell my wife when she can’t see the star I named for her in the sky?

creating positive energy

We can create energy in ourselves. If we feel depressed or anxious or any sort of “downing” feeling, we can instantly change. How do I know this? There are some mornings that when my alarm goes off it takes me a long time to get out of bed, my head will hurt, I’ll be totally tired and sleepy still. Those are the mornings I have to go to my 8AM class or go to work or something. On a morning when I’m going on a road trip to visit my girlfriend I hop out of bed instantly, pack my stuff in 5 minutes, and hit the road with a big smile on my face. Also, waking up at like 6 or 7AM. The point, is that I had to make myself go to work or class, visiting my girlfriend is something I want to do. The ability to create that energy and instantly wake up and feel wonderful in the morning all comes from the mind. So realize that if you feel badly about something, or find it difficult to do certain things, change your mind. Hold onto a different perspective in your mind. This way you will learn to activate that positive energy.

the power to live is within us. energy comes from within. create positive energy.

joy is all there ever was

I have chosen this life for myself. I have made it. I now understand my own nature here. I know myself. In my journals I write words that mean nothing. I go to school, but they have taught me nothing I won’t lose. I look back on my life: I used to feel angry about certain things. There are times in my life I am not proud of. There are certain people I have hurt. I went through a lot of my life asking “why me?” When looking at the pieces all seems painful. I would like to regret.

I must be more than I have been. I am more than I have been. Always evolving to new stages. And this place I have been in makes me feel like… all is well. There are certain people I have met that I call Fractions. These people feel like they are two different people inside. They live a divided life. They continue to struggle and feel pain. They are sometimes depressed. I used to be in fractions, but now am whole. And once I became whole I feel as if… as if I have always been whole. I suppose that is the nature of it. And so I do not regret. I look back on my life and recognize each moment as necessary in bringing me to this place I am in now. I remember like a vague memory the times I felt broken or when I felt in pieces. But they don’t seem real to me anymore. I have arrived in the place I could only dreamed of. I am now that which I could only imagine before.

I asked for wisdom and it was given to me. I asked for my mind to be opened and it was. I asked for love and found it. All I have ever asked for has been given to me. I understand my origin-nature. I feel complete. There was a version of “me” I used to hope to become. Parts of myself I wished to change. I have arrived! And its been some time now that to me it feels an eternity. Once I became whole even my past became whole. It all makes sense in the awakening. I am now that which I could only dream of becoming.

Before all I saw were pieces and it was all I knew. Once arriving here and seeing the moments of my past and how they all fit together I realize the whole picture. It wasn’t until I saw the whole picture that I understood. Now, after seeing the whole picture, in my mind it all makes sense. So looking back at the individual moments and events in my life, I understand them. I’ve learned to love them, and in effect, love who I am. To love who I have become.

There is no longer pain. There is no more suffering. There is only joy! Yesterday I would not have thought so, but today I realize… Joy is all there ever was.

language

there are many languages in this world. chinese, spanish, german, english. does god speak in english, or could he have his own language? when we pray how do we expect god to speak back to us? to we expect him to whisper english in our ear?

i don’t think god prefers english over german or chinese. he speaks to all, but he does not whisper words in our ears as we would like him to. his language is not our own, it takes new ears to hear.

Verse 22

Yield and overcome;
Bend and be straight;
Empty and be full;
Wear out and be new;
Have little and gain;
Have much and be confused.
Therefore wise men embrace the one
And set an example to all.
Not putting on a display,
They shine forth.
Not justifying themselves,
They are distinguished.
Not boasting,
They receive recognition.
Not bragging,
They never falter.
They do not quarrel,
So on one quarrels with them.
Therefore the ancients say, “Yield and overcome.”
Is that an empty saying?
Be really whole,
And all things will come to you.

- Tao Te Ching by Lao Tsu

Attachment

my first car was a honda, and after purchasing it, i noticed just how many old honda’s were on the road. now i own a saturn, and was driving today and noticed just how many saturns there are. I wasn’t consciously looking around try to spot as many saturns as i could, they just caught my eye.

when we become attached to something we notice it. we see it. it becomes a part of our lives. our mind associates itself with the object of attachment. so if i do not like eating, lets say carrots, then i will notice people who are eating carrots around me. but if i do like carrots, then someone eating carrots next to me will go unnoticed. because it means nothing to me.

when we attach meaning, when we become associated with an object, we draw those things out from our environment. whether those things are good or bad. this is part of why we meditate. we meditate to drop these attachments. to not see things through the “I” perspective. to not see things the way Jake sees things. but to take an unbiased approach. to examine an object, a subject, a person, or even myself without any preconceived views.

another idea to think about is this: lets say i have lost something. maybe i have lost a remote control to my tv. but i haven’t watched tv or even wanted to watch tv in three days. on day four i decide i want to watch tv. i notice the remote is missing. i look all over the place but can’t find it. was the remote lost three days ago when i accidentally stuck it in my pocket and it fell under the seat in my car? or was the remote lost on day four when i realized it and began to look for it? one could argue the remote was lost when it left my room, but to whom was it lost? but i believe the remote was only lost once i became aware of it. my point is: the remote is not alive. it does not exist outside of my own thoughts. the remote cannot say to itself “i am lost”. it was only when i thought of it and created that attachment that i missed it.

“Grasping at things can only yield one of two results: Either the thing you are grasping at disappears, or you yourself disappear. It is only a matter of which occurs first.” Goenka

when we meditate we learn to detach. we understand that nothing is permanent. once we understand this we can experience this. many times i have gotten into a fight with one of my friends, but every time i immediately detach once it is over and i am out of his presence. i detach because the argument is gone, we have stopped, the moment has subsided. why should i hold any sort of negative feelings toward him still? the next time i see him i won’t be thinking about our previous encounter. i won’t be thinking about anything but the moment we’re having right now. this is where the saying comes from to “forgive and forget”. we must learn to detach ourselves. to empty ourselves.

so let your thoughts be on good things, for then it will be good things that catch your eye. and learn to let go of attachments, then you will find peace and happiness with all people and in all moments of life.

Calming the Waters

The Universe does not judge you. It does not look upon you and say you are good or bad. When you ask God for something, He does not decide yes or no. What is really happening, is you are emitting a vibration into the universe that will return to you. That is why it is said “ask the Father of anything, but without doubting” only then will you receive.

” “How did the fig tree wither so quickly?” they asked after Jesus had commanded the tree to wither. Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.” ” (Book of Matthew)

I used to feel so unhappy. One thing after another kept happening to me. My life was falling apart. I became angry all the time, lashing out at my friends, hurting people I cared about the most. The truth is, my anger resonated into the world around me and the universe matched my tone. Bringing to me the same vibrations I gave out. When I said to myself “everything bad is happening to me” all the universe heard was the vibration of “bad things”. When I realized I was the source of all my problems I went into meditation. I emptied myself of these negative thoughts and feelings. I generated new thoughts. I held a picture in my head of the person I wanted to be. I spoke aloud and said to myself “you are well. all things are well.” The very next day I felt like a new person. All things had been made well. The problems I faced before dissolved. Bad things ceased to happen. Because when I thought those new thoughts, the universe heard “peace, be still.”

“But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.” (Book of James)

” The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!” He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves saying, “peace, be still”, and it was completely calm. ” (Book of Matthew)

Nothing outside of ourselves will ever change. Jesus did not say, wait and the storm will soon subside. He had the faith or the knowing that their combined internal vibration of fear had created the storm. He simply changed the vibration, he sent the vibration of peace and calm into the universe and it immediately harmonized with him.

When your life feels like you are about to drown at sea, and that you must fight and swim or paddle the oars harder… STOP! You are resisting you’re own creation. Stop, be still, and be at peace. All will subside as you calm the waters.

Environment

we are all the creators of our environment. when we fear we send those vibrations into the world, creating a scary world. A world to fear. Thus a cycle begins. Do not see with the eye, but rather see through the eye. If you fear, you will see with fear. If you love, you will see with love. Looking through the eye we enable our vibration to flow from inward, out. Seeing with the eye, we believe what we see and accept it as a condition of our environment. This is not true. Looking inward we find the source from which all things flow. You are the author of your fear. And you can be the author of love. We are the creators of our environment.

Who Do I Want To Be?

There is an “I” we all live to fulfill. We go to school so that “I” may be successful. We work hard that “I” may be happy. Who is this “I” we seek to please? We amount for ourselves in this life many things. Friendships, material wealth, etc.. We work and work and work for these things that one day we lose. It all is lost and none of those things we worked so hard for will be remembered. What will be remembered? The “I” you so desperately strived to please will be remembered for who he/she is. You see, all throughout life we ask ourselves the wrong question. When I was a child I would be asked “what do you want to be when you grow up?”. Today while I am in college I get asked, “what do you want to do?”.This is all wrong! The questions should not be a matter of “what” but of WHO! Who do I want to be? Who do I want to become? We as human suffer the desires of the overindulgent “I”. The “I” that wants to accumulate and attain things; things to identify ourselves with. But what does the real “I” want?

I do not want to do anything with my life. I do not worry about what I will do with my life. Rather, who will I become? Or, who am I? I will never become anything. I will never reach a point where I can say: “I have arrived. I have become what I hoped to become.” Because in a sense we are all ‘becoming’ something or someone at all times. I never began being who I am and I will never stop being who I am. So why believe in a future me that is the me I want to be, when I am the real me right now and always will be? Confusing?

Simply tell yourself this: My life is not about what I want to do, but who I want to be.

then ask yourself: “Who do I want to be?”